Every time you left me, my world came to a halt. But what I would actually feel was that it was the end of everything. Hope was something too scary to even hold on to. There was something about it which I couldn’t trust. Hope brought me so much disillusionment and pain. I would rather deal with each pain, each blow that your leaving has caused me, each nightmare. I had to deal with all this whether I liked it or not. But you know what, it somehow made me stronger, more resilient. It made me understand pain more and I realized these things have to be embraced and not resisted. The more that we resist it, the more that it gets to us, the more it becomes intense. Yes, I have accepted pain, thanks to you. I have become familiar to it, less scared. There were too many sunsets that I have mourned. And they will not cease to make me grieve the nights. But I am more aware of it now. They’re part of how I learn to constantly let go.
There you are, I can’t wait to see you again and be with you again. There you are with all your mysteries, all the stories that you know, which I only hope to hear. I’ve come a long way just to be with you for another moment of respite from the world that knows nothing but noise. You are rest, you are peace, you are quiet, you are serenity. I want you. Now.
What makes people immortal are the things that they do while they’re still here, alive and privileged enough to be given the opportunity to inspire others by their works and their deeds. What have you done so far, that you think can make you immortal? Does it matter for you at all to be remembered and emulated? What defines your existence if there is nothing in your life right now that holds enough meaning to be remembered and treasured by others? If what other people think about you doesn’t matter to you at all, then that is not just arrogance, but indifference and utter disrespect for life and to the one who blessed you with it. You are not here by some freak accident. You are here for a reason, a purpose that is not for your sole benefit but for others, too. You are not here so you will live and do as you please and then die and vanish to forever. You are here because there is something that you have to do to fulfill your mission. What have you done so far?
My faith keeps me sane. No, I don’t mean it’s something close to a medicine or an opium. And no, I don’t mean it’s just something that I consider like a past time or a hobby that keeps me focused. My faith keeps me sane because kneeling down in prayer reminds me of my frailty and how much I need someone greater than I am. The moment I surrender and let go, I know I am safe. And I don’t have to worry anymore, and I don’t have to bear with the heartaches anymore, and I don’t have to be so alone anymore.