Author: lavinapoet

Called to be a Mother

Photo2431 I am not the wisest of all parents in the world. As much as I would like others to realize that right parenting is the most important thing this world needs, to end the war, poverty and chaos, I do not claim to know everything. I am still learning. Every day, I am learning and growing with my son. It makes my journey as a mother not just delightful but very meaningful. I guess what we parents only need first of all, is the humility to accept the fact that we do not know everything, especially when it comes to raising our children. The problem with most of us is that we think that as parents, we have the right to be correct all the time. We think that since we are the parents, we have all the privilege of being obeyed at all times, of being right at all times, of being the only one to be talking at all times. I know that because I too am tempted once in a while to think that way.

I am a parent, yes. But I am also a child of God. If you are reading this and you don’t believe in the existence of someone greater than us, then you can stop reading this right away. God is a father. He, too, like me is a parent. Who else will I turn to for parenting tips but him? Who else best knows how to properly raise my son but him? And so I turn to his words for comfort when raising my son sometimes becomes challenging. I turn to him for advice in times when I am confused with what to do. I turn to him because I know he will never fail me. He called me to become a parent in the first place, didn’t he?

I do not own my son. He is not my property, my possession. I am only a steward. My son was entrusted to me by the Lord so that I can teach him his ways and he too can be holy like he is called to be. It’s only been 8 years since I became a mother. I still have a lifetime ahead of me to learn the ropes. But yes each day matters like it’s the last. That’s why I cease it, every minute of it. And at the end of the day, I may not have done everything right, but it makes me feel right to be able to kneel down and pray with my son, read to him the bible and be assured that we are being taken care of by the best parent in the world, our God the Father. 

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Possession

You came

when I wasn’t able

to cup the song before it ended,

while my heart was dying

to the memories it once had known.

I retreated

into the dark womb of dependence

upon your promises yet to be made.

 

But I don’t need your heart

that is torn between two eternities.

I don’t need your love

that is still grieving over a song

so long forgotten.

I need your heart

and its poetry of devotion,

desire and possession.

I need you and your liberty

from the pain of the past

and the singing that didn’t last.

 

Beyond the limits of my fleeting years

I need you to dream

some new dreams with me

and measure how far

heaven really could go.

And when I have all of your heart

to fly away with mine,

how much more I will need you-

you will never know.

lurker

Every day you speak,

I listen to the litany

of your demented heart.

I read you,

your fragmented thoughts,

your broken spirit.

 

And I wait eagerly

for each drop of your words,

drinking the emotions

which I have always been addicted to.

 

But one day soon

you will see that hell

can never take away

what is meant for heaven.

 

And you will write again,

words that are lush

with the smell of rose petals

and sweet red wine.

 

No more elegy of your past.

no more erratic,

confused paintings in the sky.

Still I will be here,

Lurking with my own darkness,

drowning in your stream of tears.

All that you are

All you did was love me

All you did was give

All you did was make me

Just want to love and live

 

All you are is poetry

That doesn’t always rhyme

But then again you show me

That it’ll be there in time

 

All you have are reasons

Good enough to comfort me

I wish I know the seasons

That keep the gloom at bay

 

All you give is what you are

When love is all you know

I will never doubt a star

Cause love is now I know… 

Wake me up with the phantom of your kiss

I wish I can say more 

about the things you make me feel

when I lay there dead 

and you wake me 

with the phantom of your kiss. 

 

Too many times even in darkness

the mere thought of you 

and your endless yearnings 

bring me to life and all its

dreamy bliss. 

 

I’ve dreamed about you too much 

before that sometimes I cannot tell

what is real between you 

and the phantom of you kiss. 

What’s made of love?

What will I write 

from the heavens 
that can never taste my grief? 
Its wealthy indifference 
stare at me each time I long for you. 
How can I not remember 
that you’re a melody
im not allowed to sing, 
a dream im not allowed to wake up to. 
A joy that will just forever be out of reach. 
Ours s an inexistent truth, 
here in there world 
that knows nothing but pretense. 
We might as well pretend along. 
Until we forget we’re pretending…

Kiss me, and tell me tales
Of love immortal and love divine. 
Kiss me, and sing me rhymes
From cosmic dreams 
And stars that sigh…
Kiss me and fly away 
With my soul, somewhere where angels
Never weep and happy days are only ours to keep. 

How could I love you more
Than not touch you? 
It wouldn’t be freedom without your warmth. 
How could it be love 
Without wanting? 
Would it still rhyme without our tune?
Our hearts, they must keep singing.
How could they live some more than not love? 
How could you love me more 
Than not hold me?

would you still stay and watch me fade?