And so I grieved at the sunset, like it would never rise again…

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Every time you left me, my world came to a halt. But what I would actually feel was that it was the end of everything. Hope was something too scary to even hold on to. There was something about it which I couldn’t trust. Hope brought me so much disillusionment and pain.  I would rather deal with each pain, each blow that your leaving has caused me, each nightmare. I had to deal with all this whether I liked it or not. But you know what, it somehow made me stronger, more resilient.  It made me understand pain more and I realized these things have to be embraced and not resisted. The more that we resist it, the more that it gets to us, the more it becomes intense.  Yes, I have accepted pain, thanks to you. I have become familiar to it, less scared. There were too many sunsets that I have mourned. And they will not cease to make me grieve the nights. But I am more aware of it now. They’re part of how I learn to constantly let go.

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