i love you, but not yet

i must speak with you again,
for this deafening silence is too loud.
its growing like a cancer,
gnawing at me from within.

my longing for you is screaming in every vein of this already weakened soul
i’ve nowhere to go, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide… no comfort
i am too small for this…
i’m like a child lost in a maze of emotions.

i am no more than a hungry parasite feeding upon the burning touch of your skin,
sometimes, i am like the corrupt and insatiable gods, drinking like ambrosia the sweet nectar of your laughter.
yeah, i know i am no better man than they who have loved and lost yet
i will always need you,
want you,
long for you, however…
i will not love you even if i want to
even if i need to,
because i do not want to lose you…

 

By: Anthony

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