Roller Coaster: by Richelle

Reading this poem made me look back on the days when indeed life for me was a roller coaster ride. The part that I didn’t like was when it would suddenly turn, in a violent twist leaving you gasping for breath and holding on to dear life. For me that wasn’t fair for “life” to treat me that way. Then again life can surprise us in every twist and in every turn, leaving us wondering when this would end… Right now I keep saying to myself, “Just hold fast. This is going to end, soon.” Thank you Richelle “Agot” Verdeprado for this very talented poetry. Such a great honor to have it here in my blog. 

 

They say that life is like a roller coaster ride

And I agree

With all its curves, ups and downs…

An analogy of life’s happiness and tears, success and failures.

And then all the forwards and the backwards…

Just like the risks you take in your journey and how they could change you…

It’s a ride that you could jerk around from side to side too,

And you feel the pain—

But you care not

For you know that you are having a different kind of fun…

A ride that is dynamic and thrilling

And though it’s a track with a designed pattern—

You still won’t know how it feels to be in the loops and inversions unless you are really there.

Its something that is unique for you based on how you experience it— just like life.

In that roller coaster ride, you seem to be so free. You screamed. You raised your hands up high.

Yes, you are free— you thought you are— until you look within and realized you are restrained…

Yes, just like life.

 

 

And I had always think life and love to be inseparable…

And to be more exact, even synonymous

That they are one and the other won’t exist without the other…

And so applying some logic, then, love is like a roller coaster ride too…

 

 

But I don’t want love to be like that roller coaster ride…

I don’t want the waiting to be longer than the actual moment…

I don’t want to be suddenly placed in the highest possible post

And then be dragged down in a split of seconds…

I don’t want to feel as though I am being headed forward and though I am not totally certain—

I just can’t resist it…

For I enjoyed it. I loved it. I did.

I don’t want love to be like that roller coaster ride—

That when you seem to be enjoying the thrust already

You’ll then find yourself being moved backwards…

Yes, I expected it, but I’m still shocked..

Perhaps its the result of the ‘foolish me’

And there’s that twirl again of confusion

And though you have no wounds in the outside

You know how shaky you are within,

You know that battles are unceasingly launched inside you,

You know you are not in control—

And all you can do is let yourself be carried along by that chair that keeps you moving…

You were silenced a little bit by the thought that you are being headed somewhere

For you had been used of being anxious each time you feel that you are not moving…

But you, one day realized that there was really no movement at all from you and for you—

You only flow as to where the wind leads you…

A very fast journey, that’s the roller coaster ride…

And there you were— you ended up in the same place

Back to where you started the jaunt…

But again, I don’t want it that way, but is there something that I can do?

Something to do aside from going through the what-seems-like-hell-process…?

I think its tragic to love someone and then coming to the point of having to stop

Just like how roller coaster brought you back—

You have to turn that person an acquaintance or stranger again, for you to end up your illusion,

Fix your mistakes

Do the right thing…

And not complicate things.

There I was, voicing out the feelings— but still empty.

Yes, the foolish me…

 

 

That roller coaster— that has trembled all your sanities,

Would have to ask you down— though you are still unprepared to stand…

And so you don’t know where and how to exit…

You thought you are used to that— but poor foolish you, you’re not…

Pain is still killing you…

But you have to try to find your strength and be back to your senses

Would you need an ice cream or what? Would you need the darkness or pinching music?

Or find other things to hurt you?

Oh, what now?

Push yourself, get down the stairs, and take some steps—

Ride a jeep, do your research output… Oh, I don’t know…

But please, just take some steps…

The roller coaster ride is over…

It’s over.

 

 

And it’s hard to explain that something painful has transpired…

They ask you this. They ask you that.

You chose to be silent, tired of trying to find words—

Oh, it’s just hard to find words…

Because you’ve got no scars that you can show to them after that ride…

Yes, no visible scars…

Only tears which you can easily wipe and dry,

And only the heart that has been smashed again…

Smashed into pieces again…

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